The Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man

(The Irrevelent Rant of an Ambiguous Old Man)  After reading about the  pastor of an 800 +  member church committing suicide for a moment I allowed myself to wonder  why the same as others.  We all in that complicated or uncomplicated moment must face our demons, even the demons of our past that still haunt us.  Most of humanity can lay claim to some great infraction in their life even if they openly deny it.  The purpose of the church should be to provide a refuge from these demons,  but this is not true, as illustrated by Jesus in his letters to the seven churches.  I grew up in the church, I love going to church, but my demons thrive and grow in the church, and they keep driving me away from the church.  They reverse their collars and preach damnation upon my soul and a simple scripture such as Matthew 5:9  Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God, become nothing but fodder in the wind as they line their pockets with Gold...

It is not the cancer that keeps Me awake at night nor does it cause me to suffer during the day.  I do not cry because my life is restricted.  I cry because of them. I am prepared to meet the God of my salvation.  When I close my eyes at night, they poke at me, they drive my blood pressure up,  they are trying to kill me.  It is the cold callous ways of those  who claim to be the gatekeeper of God that will finally take its toll.