Pages

Saturday, March 29, 2014

An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) Fannie Lue Hamer was quoted as saying, "All of my life I have been sick and tired and now I am sick and tired of being sick and tired."  

 Have you ever been judged by church folks on the basis of  how you act or what you think?   Have you ever sat through an indictment  on, "He just wants to be in control."  How many times have you faced accusation with no knowledge of why you are being accused?  Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?   In your lifetime have you coped a plea because it was the easy way out?  Has someone come to you with something you were supposed to have done, and you had no knowledge of what they were talking about?  

Because of my desire to get an education in an era when education was not at the top of the list of things to do.  Because of my ability to excel in certain fields of study, because I served in the military during an unpopular war, because in my first marriage, I self-destructed, because of my rants and some of my books and social media posting they say I am just a bitter old man.  Because of my outspoken views on the world, the church and society at large,  they say I have an agenda, they say I am bitter.  The truth is,  yes, I am bitter and  I have an agenda. I am tired of the sleepless nights, I am tired of the dark dreams.  I am tired of those who possess the ability to judge me without a conversation with me.  I am tired of the doctors, I am tried of the hospitals and this cancer scared body. I am tired of those who promote a warped sense of righteousness while hiding their hand behind a cloak of darkness.  I am representative of those downtrodden souls that has been lied on and cast aside as irreverent.  All of my life I have been lied on, and now I am sick and tired of being lied on.  I may be your brother, but you don't know me. 

The chicken coop mentality, the pecking order prevailed, the slave mentality and the religiously indoctrinated all are one.  Why is it that if you stand up for yourself, you are demon possessed? 

I am just a ship passing in the night, I am trying to get home.  
... And if tomorrow should began without me, I will be gone.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) I asked my pastor how should I proceed in the case of a church member whose handshakes I was uncomfortable with.  She would grip my hand and massage my palm with her index finger.  It proved to be rather un-nerving especially if someone was watching.  A private conversation did not produce the desired effect.  The matter escalated  with the lady showing up at my house in a half naked state of dress.  My pastor's advice was not to have anything to do with the lady, don't even shake her hand.  A visiting minister observed my reactions and interactions with this lady and immediately he was inspired, (he said God gave him the message) to preach about church people who thought they were too good to shake a certain person's hand.  He made his points as he staired into my eyes.  The handshaking experience left me feeling as if I had been raped.  The preacher's message left me feeling hurt, not bitter.   I was judged unfairly based upon false perception and the judgement still stand.   Tonight, at 3:PM I am wondering why would God give him that message.