Sitting in my home office staring at my computer screens a practice that allows me to escape reality for brief periods of time. The medical benefits of this asinine practice is, it helps me control my blood pressure. This morning as I drifted off into a state of unearthly bliss, the sharp ringing of my cell phone called me back to a world of reality. The display showed a call from the VA Clinic. My first impulse was to let it go to Voicemail, but I followed my second impulse and answered it. The call from my doctor’s office filled my office room with a profound sense of gloom and depression. For a moment I was tempted to shed a tear, but where is the relief in crying alone? I did a mental run through of my contacts in search of a preacher I could call in this situation, finding none I staring back at my computer screen and decided to check my e-mail. There was an e-mail from my cousin’s husband informing me that my cousin’s treatment didn’t go very well, and he was also depressed. His pastor had been in to pray for his wife, his wish was that his pastor took some time to talk to him. Today also is that day I am supposed to visit a friend of mine whose wife is in the hospital dying of cancer.
On my way to the kitchen to get my second cup of coffee, I realized the urgent need to find and have a conversation with God. A quick scan of the social media columns and I found God. He was so busy giving out wads of cash and buying cars that he don’t have time for the poor in spirit like me. I thought of the church, but it is getting harder and harder to find solace in the house of God. The last time I went to church in search of a message of hope, I heard a beautiful message of how God wanted us to live prosperously and enjoy life. The church was elated, and the congregation was getting their praise on But somewhere in that crowd there were several people just just like me who sat quietly and listen. When praises go up blessings come down was the word from God, but Jesus said in Matthew 5:3 blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Then he went on to say in Matthew 5:4 blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. And he explained it all in Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither there any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Now I can wrap my faith around this, I am just going home.
Outside the day was breaking and someone tweeted how wonderful it was for God to wake up the sun and start a new day. The vision of a god in outer space jump starting the sun did not seem a promising factor in my dilemma, nor did the online prayers requesting God to rebuke death and diseases.
When I began this journey I became the poster child for long drawn out prayer and the laying of hands. Many proclaimed that the healing was already done all I had to do was believe it or accept it. If I asked a question the only answer I got was, "God is a healer." The problem that I was dealing with was when miracles were performed in the Bible they were done in such a way that only God could receive the glory. I am still confused as to how going to the hospital and undergoing lifesaving procedures have anything to do with the healing virtues of God. There is no faith building moment when the young preacher speaks of the healing virtue of God after undergoing open Heart surgery. As one pastor asked, “Why would God use a knife to heal people.” It seems that we want the healing virtues of God to flow so bad, we make up stuff as we go along. It is not a question of what God can or cannot do, the question is what is God doing in this dispensation of Grace. Some churches teach that it is wrong to go to the doctor. Church members struggle and die striving to live by faith. Anytime questions are asked the response was, God knows what he is doing, as if this is a definitive answer. Listen to the message portrayed thru gospel music and charismatic preachers God is performing miracles every day and people would be a fool not to flock to the church. People testifying of God healing them of a headache are bogus at best and God does not get any glory out of it. Sometime I just don't Get it............
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