(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) ...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) ... In the itinerary of human events,  the one who speaks first is often looked upon as the one who is telling the truth.  This fallacy of human mentality allows the gifted to shape and manipulate the truth.   Shaped truth blinds the eyes to the real truth, it is an evil that first manifested itself in the Garden of Eden and gave birth to an insidious evil known as sibling rivalry thereby causing one brother to kill the other.

One of the most damnable aspects of sibling rivalry is that it allows one party to create a false characterization of its victims that others are drawn into and it becomes impossible to defend against.   Sibling rivalry uses a  distortion of reality and draws others into its distorted reality and soon this distorted reality began to masquerade as the truth.  The manipulation is subtle and relies upon provable facts or variables.   Any attempt to disprove these manipulated facts by the accused is often met with the accusation of the accused being a great liar. 

A young man graduated from high school in the early sixties,  unable to find a college or the funding needed, attended a low class business college for two semesters before dropping out and joining the Air Force.   This young man was told by his nephew nearly forty years later, "my father dislikes you because your mother and daddy did more for you that they did for him.  They sent you to college, and you got a college degree.  He told about how hard his father had to work, while he wasted the day playing. The story continued with more and more creative details added.  The only truth or reality of this encounter was, he was standing in the street talking to his nephew, the rest he had no knowledge of what he was talking about.  

Sibling rivalry is based upon the concept that the person whom the anger is directed at is a liar and is stupid.  Once these two elements are firmly entrenched in the mind of others, the "he doesn't know what he is talking about syndrome", or "you can't tell him anything", become the standard bearer  to a painful distorted and disrupted life.  There is no known defense against this type of Character assassination. 

Often we cater to the idiocricity of others, in an asinine attempt to predicate our inner demons, thereby rendering our assessment of a given situation totally irrelevant. If the followers of Jesus had deemed John the Baptist to be nothing but a wild man running in the woods half naked, they would have missed out on a beautiful and life changing experience. 

Follow me for a closer look at this sickness...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) ...Our existence is in a society where much of our knowledge is based upon assumptions.  Any person desiring to shade a fact by manipulation can easily do so.  I know because I saw you, is enough to cause many to spend a life of to torment.  Many people are convicted of crimes simply because one or even two people said they saw and a  defense is almost impossible.  This deadly type of slander is often found in churches and families where the guilty are rarely allowed to present a defense.  If a person said he saw you wallowing in the dirt, you are guilty because the dirt on your shoes proves it. 

I have sat in sorrow in many occasions because I and many others have been judged guilty of some malfeasance, an act that we or they had no knowledge of.   When my brother said he could not come into my house because I have a habit throwing people out of my house, was he reacting to the truth or was he allowing himself to be manipulated by an ancient and contagious hatred that was born because an aunt misspoke and label one brother as smart and the other as…(she used a bad choice of words). 

There are many words spoken under the guise of spiritual guidance and sanction by labeling it as a message from God.  Even today there is a prophet speaking to me about prosperity and good health, if I sow a seed.  When I read his message it seem as if God is not aware of this old tired and surgically impaired body.  According to his message God is going to buy me give me plenty money and cause the cancer damaged, surgically altered parts to grow back. 

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...When my father was sick and hospitalized , I moved back in the family home so that my mother  would not be alone.  On selected days of the week I drove her to the hospital and on the other days I went alone.  There were those who said my reasoning was trying to get close to my mother so I could get control of her money.  I like my father and mother and several of my brothers have never flaunted the availability of wealth,  not even  the size of my stock holdings.  

When he was first hospitalized many religious zealots appeared in the hospital corridor and prayed the prayer of Faith.   I often went to the hospital expecting to see him walking around and talking.  When his condition worsens and was transferred to a nursing home the visits soon ceased.   There was no ministerial staff to comfort my mother , nor was there a list of volunteers waiting to sit with her.   She bore her grief and many nights during his long sickness, I would hear her cry out.   Many times I interrupted the serving of breakfast to wipe tears from her eyes.  I remember the last time I saw my mother cry.

During the long days I become known as the young man who sit by his father beside in the nursing home and sang,  "Father along we will know all about it" I knew and accepted that the time of his departure was at hand, and I promised my father that I would sing at his home going.

On the day of his memorial services, men of high honor and dubious distinctions took to the podium to lavish praise and honor  as if it would bring comfort to my mother's bleeding heart. 

My mom waited for that moment at the close of the service when I would sing my farewell song to my father, her plans were to assist me as much as she could.  At the last minute from the  Podium the program was changed. 

"I never sung for my father. "

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...Today at the insistence of the Doctor's involved I must step away from my comfort Zone, and for a moment I must entertain that cliff that is spoken so eloquently by my friend.  I will make the drive in the rain, the cold, the sleet as if there is some golden elixir awaits me.  Shall I subject myself to the pain and suffering  of humanity driven in search of tomorrow, or shall I enjoy myself as I prepare myself to take my place in that enormous caravan that silently moves across the land?  The peddlers of false hope have done so much damage, they distress me and for that reason  we are often unable to accept the reality of life's situations.   In the face of adversity we are conditioned to cry  and beg for a little more time to live our fragile life, to feel the coolness of the wind upon our brow, to correct the wrongs we have done, yet in a 'whiff' we are gone.   For no man knows what tomorrow will bring, for we are left to gamble.

The grassy fields behind the old house was the place where many memories were born.  The fruit trees that once lined the now overgrown hedgerows seems to have left their own indelible mark.   The chicken shed is still standing but the old car shed is gone.  The old house still stands, slightly modified but more than seventy years old.  This morning I am walking the land that stretch from the great red dirt hill where my grandmother once lived, the hill that has been sold to outsiders, to the hill in the valley where the church now stand.  It is sad, it is pathetic what has transpired over the last few years to this once proud land, to this once proud church.  Then again, everything must die in order to be reborn.

And when that tomorrow began without me will you cry for me or will you cry because you miss me? Cry not for me my friend, rather cry for those moments that we cast aside so lightly.  Cry loudly for the man in the mirror, maybe he will hear you and change his ways.