Nothing but an irreverent rant of an angry old man

Nothing but an irreverent rant of an angry old man, Another funeral today. There have so many lately I find myself wondering, then I remember we are the old folks now.  I try to lend my lend my support to those who need it and I thank God for his grace and I ask for peace. The lady who lost her sister could use a little support, and those that are supporting need support sometime. We are living in an age where sister can not get along with each other, brothers can't get along with each other, church folks are no exception and it is all covered up under the blood of Jesus. There are so many people claiming to be a priest of God, spouting favor and good luck as if people are not sick and dying. I live with death and disease among my peers everyday. What about the poor in spirit. Where is that preacher when you need one? Where is that minister that is willing to live up to the creed that Jesus set forth, Oh they are so busy trying to be a wonder and collecting money. Oh they will show up on Sunday preform the James Brown effect, collect a paycheck. In the phone book there ought to be an ads that says, (For spiritual counseling 24-7 call........... Will make house calls. No credit Card needed) IJS

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man...

GENERATION 11

The sleepless night and dreariness of the morning fog sets the stage for the retrieval of my gold plated shovel and embark upon a walkabout on the forsaken farm land of my family’s hierarchy in search of skeletons.   There are many skeletons some with long, and some with not so long sordid past, I know because I helped bury some of them.   There is even a pit where the farm animal was buried.  If that old mule skeleton could speak it would lay to rest the Idiocracy of an old man struggling against his personal demons allowing him to free the souls he has held prisoner.   Maybe I should give it a voice.  Skeletons are the remains of things we bury and hope they never reappear.   Skeletons are the stuff that ghosts are made of and ghosts are the things that haunts us.  But we don't believe in ghost.

There is a sadness that permeates this old homeplace, the subtil sounds of death and decay surround me.  I walk the creek banks and the overgrown trails and all I find is ghosts.  The Choctaws are gone, the slave owners and the land grabbers have followed the same path.  All of the old warriors are long gone and there is nothing left but memories, oh yes there are the skeletons.  These skeletons will always remind me of the wars that were fought.  Stupid wars, wars with no winners, dumb wars, like the ancient feuds that  play themselves out over the centuries  and  no one could remember why.   Brothers against brothers, the shredded souls the wasted lives, for what there is no reason.  Then one morning we wake up and find that what we dreamed of will never be and our life will never be the same.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust so goes our dream.

   

As I began to dig and stand ready to proclaim my find, I think of Maya Angelou who wrote a poem, “I know why the caged bird sings”  and from the darkest moments of my tortured soul I scream, “I never heard the blackbird sing.”  Then with solemn respect to those who are standing I replace the earth in the hole I dug.  And as a reminder to those who pass this way I leave a marker that simply says, “I know why”,  I know why the old woman cried, because I wiped her tears, I know why I never heard the Blackbird sing and I know why the young warrior died. 

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man

The indoctrination of the Africans slaves were so successful that it created new and alien mindsets.  The slave mentality, though illogical and psychotic, it requires a certain foundation to hold it together.  The laws of government or religion tend to suffice because it caters to this type of mind-set.  The government says, “I will take care of you,” the church says, “God will take care of you.”  The slave mentality’s mindset is embedded and regenerated generation after generation.  It says, I am poor not rich, weak not strong, dependent not independent, helpless not self-sufficient, slave not master and because of this plea, I need help, I am depending on you, I cannot do this alone.  Because of this mindset many lost their ability to function as a class of people and became totally dependent upon the slave master,  government or even a religious creed for their survival.  

     Jesus alluded to a mental deficiency in the condition of humanity’s thinking when he said, “consider the fowls of the air”.    The underlining thought was the fowls of the air can sit in the tree and wait for food to be brought to them, that is not true they  know they must get up and go out and hunt or work for the things that is provided by their creator, or they can sit on a limb in a tree, wait and starve. 

Maybe it is just me

(The Irrevelant Rant of An Ambigious Old Man)  It is just planned sad what they have done to the church.  The desire to be a super-star has taken precedent over  teaching or (preaching) the word of God.   In an age when people need God, the Bible has been turned into a cash cow. I  always thought Christianity was about believing in God and believing God was about believing in the hereafter.  Living a godly life was about preparing to reign with Christ when he return to establish his kingdom.   Now it seems all of that have changed.  Believing in God now means you don't have to worry about doing anything, you got this God who is doing all of these little cute things for you.  If you are a sinner you don't stand a chance in Hell of getting a good job.  In other words all sinners are homeless bums, and all Christians are rich.  When a bum need money he beg Christians for it, when a Christian need money they ask God for it and Ching-Ching they got it.  Now after God gives Christians money they are supposed to give part of it back to God by giving part of it back to the preacher.

There are those who can take one verse out of the Bible,  spiritualize it and turn it into an ATM.  Genesis 37:24  And they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it.
When your enemies attack you and throw you into a pit, you don’t need to fear because God is the God of comeback and favor.  God will never allow you to remain in a dirty pit of depression, despair, and depravity because his purpose is one of blessing, purpose, and breakthrough.  It’s time to overcome your pit!  What is the pit that is facing your life today?  Maybe it’s a financial pit.  Maybe it’s an emotional pit. Maybe it’s a pit of sickness?  Maybe it’s a relational pit.  Well, you better prepare yourself in the pit because God is about ready to bring you from the pit to the palace!  Can I get a witness? Now here come the part about planting a seed.

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man

(An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man) There are many times in life I call into question my sanity.  Today is one of those days.  I am sadden at the level of confusion that can exist in a church, household or family circle, especially when that household, church or family circle is comprised of ministers and people of God.     I hope I am not too critical of the religious community, but I am at a point in my life that I need to maintain a sustaining faith in God, but it is those who claim to have a greater knowledge of  God sometime cause me to doubt.  

It seems that there ought to be limits to the surreal Hell that a struggling soul is called upon to endure from those who claim to be children of the father.  How many tears must I shed at the hands of  preachers.  How many broken hearts and deaths must I witness.  Only God knows the supreme ruler.   If they know so much about God, then why don't they know about the pain and death they inflict upon people.

My body tells me I am a tired old man, but before I pass on from this land I think I will get my gold plated shovel and go out into the wood and dig up a few skeletons.  Skeletons are easy to find especially when you help bury some of them.   This is an unfair agenda, but by doing so maybe only then will my spirit rest.

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man

(An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man) Attending a  funeral is something I would rather not do, but sometimes it is important to the family of the deceased that I attend.  On such occasions I suck it up and attended a funeral not long ago.  I was hoping that the message might serve as an uplifting moment for the family and myself.  Being a cancer survivor who has progressed to dealing with periods of uncertainty,  a message of hope and faith though sometimes hard to find, is as important as the huge number of pills I take two and three times a day.

Not long ago I was caught in a situation where not attending a friend of the family’s funeral was not socially acceptable.  I attended hoping the service would be short and sweet.  I later learned the pastor had a hidden agenda. I closed my eyes an listened  as the service progressed.

The pastor took to the pulpit and with much flair and fanfare he announced that his subject was, Hell, a place you don’t want to go.”  Looking across the church I could see the shocked expressions that spread across the family members face.  It was known through the community that the young man in the casket was not what you would call a church goer.   When a performing artist dies that person is packaged up and shipped off to heaven and they soon reappear on Facebook with wings, and  is purported to be singing in the heavenly choir.   I wondered why this young man was not afforded the same pleasures.  He constantly interrupted his diatribe by telling members of the congregation to reach over and touch somebody or "look at your neighbor" and tell them, “Hell is a place you don’t want to go.”  I have never understood the use of this filler, but what can I say. I am just an ambiguous old man. 

I open my eyes when his voice changed, he was tuning up.  He looked back at the ministers filling the rostrum behind him, a smug smile crossed his face and with a moaning voice he began.  “I am talking about Jesus” somebody in the back of the church screamed “Go ahead.”  “He came down through forty two generations,”  “Stopped over in a little town call Bethlehem.”   When he got to the “born” part he had  the preachers on the rostrum standing and patting him on the back.  I knew the story so well and how it is played out.  You repeat ‘born’ two  or three times based upon the response you get and by the time you get to the dying part you should be able to rock the church.

The Chaos Rules

A double rod pendulumanimation 

showing chaotic behavior Starting 

the pendulum from a slightly different

 initial condition  would result in a 

completely different trajectory. 

The double  rod pendulum is one 

of the simplest  dynamic systems

 that has chaotic solutions.

The rules are Chaos is there are no rules If I begged my wife to go to the store and get me some Ice Cream, and she was hit by a drunk driver and killed, am I responsible?  If I know a person has a bad Heart and I agitate him and he dies of a heart attack, am I the blame? Ecclesiastes 9:11  I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

The basic theory of Karma is: 'cause and effect'. The laws (Dharma) decide what effect is begot from a given cause. Karma is the 'cause' part of this theory. In other words, your actions - mental, vocal and physical are your Karma (plural).

Dharma does not 'punish' or 'reward' anyone. The concepts of good and bad don't exist. For example, gravity is one of the laws of the universe, and if you jumped off a building and killed yourself, we wouldn't say that gravity was punishing you.

Chaos: When the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future.

An  example of Chaos discussed by Poincaré is of a man walking on a street on his way to his business. He starts out at a particular time. Meanwhile unknown to him, there is a tiler working on the roof of a building on the same street. The tiler accidentally drops a tile, killing the business man. Had the business man started out at a slightly earlier or later time, the outcome of his trajectory would have been vastly different!

How many people have you killed today?

I Remember Martin.

A few of us old heads that were around when Martin L. King was marching is still around.  I can say. “ I was there."  I remember when the doors of Black churches  were closed to MLK.  I remember when black people said Martin was irrelevant, nothing but a trouble maker and he need to go and sit down.  I remember when the militant black groups infiltrated his peaceful marches and created  chaos that resulted in violence.   I remember when members of his inner circle plotted against him and sought to take control or split his organization.  I remember the March on Washington  and his famous speech,  “I have a dream .”   I also remember waking up one morning  and realizing that the dream had ended and the nightmare had begun.

     “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal”  This is a quotation from the Declaration of Independence, it  has been called an "immortal declaration".  It is the single phrase of the United States Revolutionary period with the most continuing importance.  Today the descendants of African slaves stake their quest for freedom  and deliverance from hatred and racism on these immortal words that is hailed as a divine conceit.

     The truth is, Thomas Jefferson, a slave owner first used this phrase in the Declaration of Independence as a rebuttal  to the prevailing theory of the day, the Divine Right of Kings.  The use of this phrase was not to set the stage for the freedom of the African slaves, as we have been told, Africans slaves were not considered as a part of that group of, “all men”, nor were women.  The first word, “We” referenced a small group of men who authored a document that said, “we do not accept the rites of kingship.” 

      The phrase has been quoted, misquoted and incorporated into speeches by a wide array of substantial figures.  The phrase was also quoted by Martin Luther King, Jr. in his famous I Have a Dream speech, as the "creed" of the United States. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.

I Never Sang For My Father

From the book,  ( I Never Heard The Blackbird Sing)

His fondest memories of growing up on the farm  was the times he spent with his father working in the fields, driving the tractors and the silent moments they spent together.  Learning to drive the tractor at an early age he became his father's prime asset in working the fields after the older boys left home.

     Graduating from high school with a desire to further his education was a painful experience for his father.  It was his father’s expressed desire that he remain on the farm and help him.   Providence must have prepared his father for the moment  when he would leave home.  After being the youngest child for nearly fifteen years his mother gave birth to a set of twin and another son to take his place as the youngest of the family.  His days quickly became filled with helping his father in the fields and helping his mother with the three boys. 

     Before leaving home to further his education, he made a tearful and solemn promise to his  father that he would return and help out on the farm.  This was a promise that he intended to keep, but there were those who knowingly and unknowingly did everything in their power to prevent this from happening.

     That closeness that once existed between him and his father became a victim of sibling rivalary, that produced an intense hatred.  It seems as if a giant eraser was used to blot out and reconstruct his formative years, and create a persona, a person that was alien to him.   It was a hatred so great that many times he had chosen to run and hide.   A hatred born out of the misstatement of an aunt who learned too late of the Hell she had unleashed, and fuelled by the fact he was younger but the first of his brothers to graduate from high school.

          Many years he had shied away from family gathering and family reunions.  Living only thirty minutes away from the home place, years would sometimes pass without him visiting his mother and father.

     They knew him in the nursing home as the young man who would come in and sing to his father.  Day after day, month after month  he sang to the emasculated form of a once vibrant man lying on the bed.  In that process of time he made one more tearful promise while holding his father's hand not yet cold from the grip of death.  He promised he would sing, “Further along  we will know all about it, further along we will understand why…”at the close of his service.  It was another promise he was not allowed to keep….

I Just Don't Get It

 Sitting in my home office staring at my computer screens a practice that allows me to escape reality for brief periods of time.  The medical benefits of this asinine practice  is, it helps me control my blood pressure.   This morning as I drifted off into a state of unearthly bliss, the sharp ringing of my cell phone called me back to a world of reality.  The display showed a call from the VA Clinic.  My first impulse was to let it go to Voicemail, but I followed my second impulse and answered it.  The  call from my doctor’s office filled my office room with a profound sense of gloom and  depression.   For a moment I was tempted to shed a tear, but where is the relief in crying alone?  I did a mental run through of my contacts in search of a preacher I could call in this situation, finding none I staring back at my computer screen and  decided to check my e-mail.  There was an e-mail from my cousin’s husband informing me that my cousin’s treatment didn’t go very well, and he was also depressed.   His pastor had been in to pray for his wife, his wish was that his pastor took some time to talk to him.   Today also is that day I am  supposed to visit a friend of mine whose wife is in the hospital dying of cancer.

     On my way to the kitchen to get my second cup of coffee, I realized the urgent need to find and have a conversation with God.  A quick scan of the social media columns and I found God.  He was so busy giving out wads of cash and buying cars that he don’t have time for the poor in spirit like me.  I thought of the church, but it is getting harder and harder to find solace in the house of God.  The last time I went to church in search of a message of hope, I heard a beautiful message of how God wanted us to live prosperously and enjoy life.   The church was elated, and the congregation was getting their praise on   But somewhere in that crowd there were several people just just like me who sat quietly and listen.   When praises go up blessings come down was the word from God, but Jesus said in Matthew 5:3 blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Then he went on to say in Matthew 5:4 blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.  And he explained it all in Revelation 21:4 And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither there any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”  Now I can wrap my faith around this, I am just going home. 

     Outside the day was breaking and someone tweeted how wonderful it was for God to wake up the sun and start a new day.  The vision of a god in outer space jump starting the sun did not seem  a  promising factor in my dilemma,   nor did the online prayers requesting God to rebuke death and diseases.  

     When I began this journey I became the poster child for long drawn out prayer and the laying of hands.  Many proclaimed that the healing was already done all I had to do was believe it or accept it.  If I asked a question the only answer I got was, "God is a healer."    The problem that I was dealing with was when miracles were performed in the Bible they were done in such a way that only God could receive the glory.   I am still confused as to how going to the hospital and undergoing lifesaving procedures have anything to do with the healing virtues of God.   There is no faith building moment when the young preacher speaks of the healing virtue of God after undergoing open Heart surgery.  As one pastor asked, “Why would God use a knife to heal people.”   It seems that we want the healing virtues of God to flow so bad, we make up stuff as we go along.   It is not a question of what God can or cannot do, the question is what is God doing in this dispensation of Grace.  Some churches teach that it is wrong to go to the doctor.   Church members struggle and die striving to live by faith.  Anytime questions are asked the response was, God knows what he is doing, as if this is a definitive answer.   Listen to the message portrayed thru gospel music and charismatic preachers God is performing miracles every day and people would be a fool  not to flock to the church.  People testifying of God healing them of a headache are bogus at best and God does not get any glory out of it.  Sometime I just don't Get it............