(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) ...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) ... In the itinerary of human events,  the one who speaks first is often looked upon as the one who is telling the truth.  This fallacy of human mentality allows the gifted to shape and manipulate the truth.   Shaped truth blinds the eyes to the real truth, it is an evil that first manifested itself in the Garden of Eden and gave birth to an insidious evil known as sibling rivalry thereby causing one brother to kill the other.

One of the most damnable aspects of sibling rivalry is that it allows one party to create a false characterization of its victims that others are drawn into and it becomes impossible to defend against.   Sibling rivalry uses a  distortion of reality and draws others into its distorted reality and soon this distorted reality began to masquerade as the truth.  The manipulation is subtle and relies upon provable facts or variables.   Any attempt to disprove these manipulated facts by the accused is often met with the accusation of the accused being a great liar. 

A young man graduated from high school in the early sixties,  unable to find a college or the funding needed, attended a low class business college for two semesters before dropping out and joining the Air Force.   This young man was told by his nephew nearly forty years later, "my father dislikes you because your mother and daddy did more for you that they did for him.  They sent you to college, and you got a college degree.  He told about how hard his father had to work, while he wasted the day playing. The story continued with more and more creative details added.  The only truth or reality of this encounter was, he was standing in the street talking to his nephew, the rest he had no knowledge of what he was talking about.  

Sibling rivalry is based upon the concept that the person whom the anger is directed at is a liar and is stupid.  Once these two elements are firmly entrenched in the mind of others, the "he doesn't know what he is talking about syndrome", or "you can't tell him anything", become the standard bearer  to a painful distorted and disrupted life.  There is no known defense against this type of Character assassination. 

Often we cater to the idiocricity of others, in an asinine attempt to predicate our inner demons, thereby rendering our assessment of a given situation totally irrelevant. If the followers of Jesus had deemed John the Baptist to be nothing but a wild man running in the woods half naked, they would have missed out on a beautiful and life changing experience. 

Follow me for a closer look at this sickness...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man) ...Our existence is in a society where much of our knowledge is based upon assumptions.  Any person desiring to shade a fact by manipulation can easily do so.  I know because I saw you, is enough to cause many to spend a life of to torment.  Many people are convicted of crimes simply because one or even two people said they saw and a  defense is almost impossible.  This deadly type of slander is often found in churches and families where the guilty are rarely allowed to present a defense.  If a person said he saw you wallowing in the dirt, you are guilty because the dirt on your shoes proves it. 

I have sat in sorrow in many occasions because I and many others have been judged guilty of some malfeasance, an act that we or they had no knowledge of.   When my brother said he could not come into my house because I have a habit throwing people out of my house, was he reacting to the truth or was he allowing himself to be manipulated by an ancient and contagious hatred that was born because an aunt misspoke and label one brother as smart and the other as…(she used a bad choice of words). 

There are many words spoken under the guise of spiritual guidance and sanction by labeling it as a message from God.  Even today there is a prophet speaking to me about prosperity and good health, if I sow a seed.  When I read his message it seem as if God is not aware of this old tired and surgically impaired body.  According to his message God is going to buy me give me plenty money and cause the cancer damaged, surgically altered parts to grow back. 

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...When my father was sick and hospitalized , I moved back in the family home so that my mother  would not be alone.  On selected days of the week I drove her to the hospital and on the other days I went alone.  There were those who said my reasoning was trying to get close to my mother so I could get control of her money.  I like my father and mother and several of my brothers have never flaunted the availability of wealth,  not even  the size of my stock holdings.  

When he was first hospitalized many religious zealots appeared in the hospital corridor and prayed the prayer of Faith.   I often went to the hospital expecting to see him walking around and talking.  When his condition worsens and was transferred to a nursing home the visits soon ceased.   There was no ministerial staff to comfort my mother , nor was there a list of volunteers waiting to sit with her.   She bore her grief and many nights during his long sickness, I would hear her cry out.   Many times I interrupted the serving of breakfast to wipe tears from her eyes.  I remember the last time I saw my mother cry.

During the long days I become known as the young man who sit by his father beside in the nursing home and sang,  "Father along we will know all about it" I knew and accepted that the time of his departure was at hand, and I promised my father that I would sing at his home going.

On the day of his memorial services, men of high honor and dubious distinctions took to the podium to lavish praise and honor  as if it would bring comfort to my mother's bleeding heart. 

My mom waited for that moment at the close of the service when I would sing my farewell song to my father, her plans were to assist me as much as she could.  At the last minute from the  Podium the program was changed. 

"I never sung for my father. "

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)...Today at the insistence of the Doctor's involved I must step away from my comfort Zone, and for a moment I must entertain that cliff that is spoken so eloquently by my friend.  I will make the drive in the rain, the cold, the sleet as if there is some golden elixir awaits me.  Shall I subject myself to the pain and suffering  of humanity driven in search of tomorrow, or shall I enjoy myself as I prepare myself to take my place in that enormous caravan that silently moves across the land?  The peddlers of false hope have done so much damage, they distress me and for that reason  we are often unable to accept the reality of life's situations.   In the face of adversity we are conditioned to cry  and beg for a little more time to live our fragile life, to feel the coolness of the wind upon our brow, to correct the wrongs we have done, yet in a 'whiff' we are gone.   For no man knows what tomorrow will bring, for we are left to gamble.

The grassy fields behind the old house was the place where many memories were born.  The fruit trees that once lined the now overgrown hedgerows seems to have left their own indelible mark.   The chicken shed is still standing but the old car shed is gone.  The old house still stands, slightly modified but more than seventy years old.  This morning I am walking the land that stretch from the great red dirt hill where my grandmother once lived, the hill that has been sold to outsiders, to the hill in the valley where the church now stand.  It is sad, it is pathetic what has transpired over the last few years to this once proud land, to this once proud church.  Then again, everything must die in order to be reborn.

And when that tomorrow began without me will you cry for me or will you cry because you miss me? Cry not for me my friend, rather cry for those moments that we cast aside so lightly.  Cry loudly for the man in the mirror, maybe he will hear you and change his ways.

An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man

(An Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man)... There is so much talk about the good life here on earth, the government is fixing problems , and God is doing so much today and he is behind the scenes working to make things come out right.  If the words of the peddlers of hope in this world were true then we would be living in a utopia.  The truth is Governments of the world are expanding and clasping and God's angry are building and soon he will strike a blow, not in the name of justice, but judgement.   

      What has the government done to promote the welfare of man?  Social programs were created to advance the survival of humanity, yet these programs destroyed family values.  Now the very government that we hail as being supreme is destroying the sanctity of marriage all in the name of promoting a stronger union.  We applaud a government that creates laws that govern the emotions of humanity, and these very laws become a platform of hate.  Laws that are created to integrate society, in reality they divide and cause hate to flourish.

     Where is God?  He is easy to find, you can find him in the grocery check out line helping people buy food with their government benefit card or you can find him at the used car lot helping a struggling soul purchase a car with their tax return check.  You can even find him at the service station helping people fill their cars up with gas, but it is getting harder to find him in the hospitals or even the church where people are seriously seeking him. 

     The government and the church as an "organization" (not the true church that Jesus spoke of) have become obsessed with money, and status.  Too many of our leaders are blinded by the glitter, the sex and honors and they have become pawns of the devil.   Remove the blinders, take a look around, the generations that precedes us are cast adrift into a world of confusion, without the benefit of a father and a God.   

     Like Nero at the burning of Rome, the politicians are debating and the church is singing songs and praying while the fires of damnation rages throughout the land... 

The Irrevelent Rant of An Ambiguous Old Man

(The Irrevelent Rant of an Ambiguous Old Man)  After reading about the  pastor of an 800 +  member church committing suicide for a moment I allowed myself to wonder  why the same as others.  We all in that complicated or uncomplicated moment must face our demons, even the demons of our past that still haunt us.  Most of humanity can lay claim to some great infraction in their life even if they openly deny it.  The purpose of the church should be to provide a refuge from these demons,  but this is not true, as illustrated by Jesus in his letters to the seven churches.  I grew up in the church, I love going to church, but my demons thrive and grow in the church, and they keep driving me away from the church.  They reverse their collars and preach damnation upon my soul and a simple scripture such as Matthew 5:9  Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God, become nothing but fodder in the wind as they line their pockets with Gold...

It is not the cancer that keeps Me awake at night nor does it cause me to suffer during the day.  I do not cry because my life is restricted.  I cry because of them. I am prepared to meet the God of my salvation.  When I close my eyes at night, they poke at me, they drive my blood pressure up,  they are trying to kill me.  It is the cold callous ways of those  who claim to be the gatekeeper of God that will finally take its toll.  

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man

(An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man) ...Preachers will come into your house and rant and rave like a madman, because of a petty disagreement over something they think you said or something they think you should have done. You are suppose to stand there like you are stupid in your own house. If you open your mouth you are wrong, then they have the audacity to go out and lie and claim they have the word of God in their mouth. Preacher wake Up, enough is enough. God doesn't like your antic and I don't either.

Nothing but an irreverent rant of an angry old man

Nothing but an irreverent rant of an angry old man, Another funeral today. There have so many lately I find myself wondering, then I remember we are the old folks now.  I try to lend my lend my support to those who need it and I thank God for his grace and I ask for peace. The lady who lost her sister could use a little support, and those that are supporting need support sometime. We are living in an age where sister can not get along with each other, brothers can't get along with each other, church folks are no exception and it is all covered up under the blood of Jesus. There are so many people claiming to be a priest of God, spouting favor and good luck as if people are not sick and dying. I live with death and disease among my peers everyday. What about the poor in spirit. Where is that preacher when you need one? Where is that minister that is willing to live up to the creed that Jesus set forth, Oh they are so busy trying to be a wonder and collecting money. Oh they will show up on Sunday preform the James Brown effect, collect a paycheck. In the phone book there ought to be an ads that says, (For spiritual counseling 24-7 call........... Will make house calls. No credit Card needed) IJS

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man...

GENERATION 11

The sleepless night and dreariness of the morning fog sets the stage for the retrieval of my gold plated shovel and embark upon a walkabout on the forsaken farm land of my family’s hierarchy in search of skeletons.   There are many skeletons some with long, and some with not so long sordid past, I know because I helped bury some of them.   There is even a pit where the farm animal was buried.  If that old mule skeleton could speak it would lay to rest the Idiocracy of an old man struggling against his personal demons allowing him to free the souls he has held prisoner.   Maybe I should give it a voice.  Skeletons are the remains of things we bury and hope they never reappear.   Skeletons are the stuff that ghosts are made of and ghosts are the things that haunts us.  But we don't believe in ghost.

There is a sadness that permeates this old homeplace, the subtil sounds of death and decay surround me.  I walk the creek banks and the overgrown trails and all I find is ghosts.  The Choctaws are gone, the slave owners and the land grabbers have followed the same path.  All of the old warriors are long gone and there is nothing left but memories, oh yes there are the skeletons.  These skeletons will always remind me of the wars that were fought.  Stupid wars, wars with no winners, dumb wars, like the ancient feuds that  play themselves out over the centuries  and  no one could remember why.   Brothers against brothers, the shredded souls the wasted lives, for what there is no reason.  Then one morning we wake up and find that what we dreamed of will never be and our life will never be the same.  Ashes to ashes, dust to dust so goes our dream.

   

As I began to dig and stand ready to proclaim my find, I think of Maya Angelou who wrote a poem, “I know why the caged bird sings”  and from the darkest moments of my tortured soul I scream, “I never heard the blackbird sing.”  Then with solemn respect to those who are standing I replace the earth in the hole I dug.  And as a reminder to those who pass this way I leave a marker that simply says, “I know why”,  I know why the old woman cried, because I wiped her tears, I know why I never heard the Blackbird sing and I know why the young warrior died. 

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man

The indoctrination of the Africans slaves were so successful that it created new and alien mindsets.  The slave mentality, though illogical and psychotic, it requires a certain foundation to hold it together.  The laws of government or religion tend to suffice because it caters to this type of mind-set.  The government says, “I will take care of you,” the church says, “God will take care of you.”  The slave mentality’s mindset is embedded and regenerated generation after generation.  It says, I am poor not rich, weak not strong, dependent not independent, helpless not self-sufficient, slave not master and because of this plea, I need help, I am depending on you, I cannot do this alone.  Because of this mindset many lost their ability to function as a class of people and became totally dependent upon the slave master,  government or even a religious creed for their survival.  

     Jesus alluded to a mental deficiency in the condition of humanity’s thinking when he said, “consider the fowls of the air”.    The underlining thought was the fowls of the air can sit in the tree and wait for food to be brought to them, that is not true they  know they must get up and go out and hunt or work for the things that is provided by their creator, or they can sit on a limb in a tree, wait and starve. 

Maybe it is just me

(The Irrevelant Rant of An Ambigious Old Man)  It is just planned sad what they have done to the church.  The desire to be a super-star has taken precedent over  teaching or (preaching) the word of God.   In an age when people need God, the Bible has been turned into a cash cow. I  always thought Christianity was about believing in God and believing God was about believing in the hereafter.  Living a godly life was about preparing to reign with Christ when he return to establish his kingdom.   Now it seems all of that have changed.  Believing in God now means you don't have to worry about doing anything, you got this God who is doing all of these little cute things for you.  If you are a sinner you don't stand a chance in Hell of getting a good job.  In other words all sinners are homeless bums, and all Christians are rich.  When a bum need money he beg Christians for it, when a Christian need money they ask God for it and Ching-Ching they got it.  Now after God gives Christians money they are supposed to give part of it back to God by giving part of it back to the preacher.

There are those who can take one verse out of the Bible,  spiritualize it and turn it into an ATM.  Genesis 37:24  And they took him, and cast him into a pit: and the pit was empty, there was no water in it.
When your enemies attack you and throw you into a pit, you don’t need to fear because God is the God of comeback and favor.  God will never allow you to remain in a dirty pit of depression, despair, and depravity because his purpose is one of blessing, purpose, and breakthrough.  It’s time to overcome your pit!  What is the pit that is facing your life today?  Maybe it’s a financial pit.  Maybe it’s an emotional pit. Maybe it’s a pit of sickness?  Maybe it’s a relational pit.  Well, you better prepare yourself in the pit because God is about ready to bring you from the pit to the palace!  Can I get a witness? Now here come the part about planting a seed.

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man

(An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man) There are many times in life I call into question my sanity.  Today is one of those days.  I am sadden at the level of confusion that can exist in a church, household or family circle, especially when that household, church or family circle is comprised of ministers and people of God.     I hope I am not too critical of the religious community, but I am at a point in my life that I need to maintain a sustaining faith in God, but it is those who claim to have a greater knowledge of  God sometime cause me to doubt.  

It seems that there ought to be limits to the surreal Hell that a struggling soul is called upon to endure from those who claim to be children of the father.  How many tears must I shed at the hands of  preachers.  How many broken hearts and deaths must I witness.  Only God knows the supreme ruler.   If they know so much about God, then why don't they know about the pain and death they inflict upon people.

My body tells me I am a tired old man, but before I pass on from this land I think I will get my gold plated shovel and go out into the wood and dig up a few skeletons.  Skeletons are easy to find especially when you help bury some of them.   This is an unfair agenda, but by doing so maybe only then will my spirit rest.

An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man

(An Irrelevant Rant of an Ambigious Old Man) Attending a  funeral is something I would rather not do, but sometimes it is important to the family of the deceased that I attend.  On such occasions I suck it up and attended a funeral not long ago.  I was hoping that the message might serve as an uplifting moment for the family and myself.  Being a cancer survivor who has progressed to dealing with periods of uncertainty,  a message of hope and faith though sometimes hard to find, is as important as the huge number of pills I take two and three times a day.

Not long ago I was caught in a situation where not attending a friend of the family’s funeral was not socially acceptable.  I attended hoping the service would be short and sweet.  I later learned the pastor had a hidden agenda. I closed my eyes an listened  as the service progressed.

The pastor took to the pulpit and with much flair and fanfare he announced that his subject was, Hell, a place you don’t want to go.”  Looking across the church I could see the shocked expressions that spread across the family members face.  It was known through the community that the young man in the casket was not what you would call a church goer.   When a performing artist dies that person is packaged up and shipped off to heaven and they soon reappear on Facebook with wings, and  is purported to be singing in the heavenly choir.   I wondered why this young man was not afforded the same pleasures.  He constantly interrupted his diatribe by telling members of the congregation to reach over and touch somebody or "look at your neighbor" and tell them, “Hell is a place you don’t want to go.”  I have never understood the use of this filler, but what can I say. I am just an ambiguous old man. 

I open my eyes when his voice changed, he was tuning up.  He looked back at the ministers filling the rostrum behind him, a smug smile crossed his face and with a moaning voice he began.  “I am talking about Jesus” somebody in the back of the church screamed “Go ahead.”  “He came down through forty two generations,”  “Stopped over in a little town call Bethlehem.”   When he got to the “born” part he had  the preachers on the rostrum standing and patting him on the back.  I knew the story so well and how it is played out.  You repeat ‘born’ two  or three times based upon the response you get and by the time you get to the dying part you should be able to rock the church.

The Chaos Rules

A double rod pendulumanimation 

showing chaotic behavior Starting 

the pendulum from a slightly different

 initial condition  would result in a 

completely different trajectory. 

The double  rod pendulum is one 

of the simplest  dynamic systems

 that has chaotic solutions.

The rules are Chaos is there are no rules If I begged my wife to go to the store and get me some Ice Cream, and she was hit by a drunk driver and killed, am I responsible?  If I know a person has a bad Heart and I agitate him and he dies of a heart attack, am I the blame? Ecclesiastes 9:11  I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

The basic theory of Karma is: 'cause and effect'. The laws (Dharma) decide what effect is begot from a given cause. Karma is the 'cause' part of this theory. In other words, your actions - mental, vocal and physical are your Karma (plural).

Dharma does not 'punish' or 'reward' anyone. The concepts of good and bad don't exist. For example, gravity is one of the laws of the universe, and if you jumped off a building and killed yourself, we wouldn't say that gravity was punishing you.

Chaos: When the present determines the future, but the approximate present does not approximately determine the future.

An  example of Chaos discussed by Poincaré is of a man walking on a street on his way to his business. He starts out at a particular time. Meanwhile unknown to him, there is a tiler working on the roof of a building on the same street. The tiler accidentally drops a tile, killing the business man. Had the business man started out at a slightly earlier or later time, the outcome of his trajectory would have been vastly different!

How many people have you killed today?

I Remember Martin.

A few of us old heads that were around when Martin L. King was marching is still around.  I can say. “ I was there."  I remember when the doors of Black churches  were closed to MLK.  I remember when black people said Martin was irrelevant, nothing but a trouble maker and he need to go and sit down.  I remember when the militant black groups infiltrated his peaceful marches and created  chaos that resulted in violence.   I remember when members of his inner circle plotted against him and sought to take control or split his organization.  I remember the March on Washington  and his famous speech,  “I have a dream .”   I also remember waking up one morning  and realizing that the dream had ended and the nightmare had begun.

     “We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal”  This is a quotation from the Declaration of Independence, it  has been called an "immortal declaration".  It is the single phrase of the United States Revolutionary period with the most continuing importance.  Today the descendants of African slaves stake their quest for freedom  and deliverance from hatred and racism on these immortal words that is hailed as a divine conceit.

     The truth is, Thomas Jefferson, a slave owner first used this phrase in the Declaration of Independence as a rebuttal  to the prevailing theory of the day, the Divine Right of Kings.  The use of this phrase was not to set the stage for the freedom of the African slaves, as we have been told, Africans slaves were not considered as a part of that group of, “all men”, nor were women.  The first word, “We” referenced a small group of men who authored a document that said, “we do not accept the rites of kingship.” 

      The phrase has been quoted, misquoted and incorporated into speeches by a wide array of substantial figures.  The phrase was also quoted by Martin Luther King, Jr. in his famous I Have a Dream speech, as the "creed" of the United States. I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.